Dear Blake,
Recently I just had the shock of my life. I ran my credit report and was horrified to find out my credit score dropped from almost 800 to 590! Upon further investigation I was able to figure out that my fiancé’s mother opened up numerous unauthorized accounts in my name and did not make any payments on those accounts while she was staying in my home. To make matters worse my fiancé doesn’t think it is a big deal because he just got a job promotion and said he would pay off these now delinquent accounts. Should I sue her? Should I call my wedding off? Help!
Signed, Stella
From Las Vegas, Nevada
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Dear Stella,
Your future mother-in-law was totally in the wrong for her behavior. But since she used a credit card to harm you, you should use that exact item to destroy her. Here are some ideas. Throw bricks through the windshield of her car so often, that she goes deep into debt from replacing them. And if she decides to go through her insurance, the frequency of your attacks will cause them to either cancel her policy or jack up the rates. You were considering suing her. Don’t try to get this resolved in civil court, because the woman is a thief, so it should be in criminal court. And I think at that point, your fiancé will encourage his mother to use the public defender, rather than him hire her a defense attorney where he’ll have to sell pints of his own blood to pay her astronomical legal fees. Or, you can turn your fiancé against her by saying you found on your credit card a 14 century Tower of London torture rack that she planned on using to stretch him, because she secretly always wanted a taller son. And lastly, you can use that exact same card to make a brutal point. Las Vegas was originally built by gangsters, so try to locate a hitman that wants to make some quick cash. If you can’t find one, any broke compulsive gambler or homeless alcoholic will be happy to stop by that witch’s house for $20, if not less. And to protect yourself, after you pay them, contact your credit card company and vigorously dispute the charge. I hope this helps.
Blake