Dear Blake,
I am almost 30, not married, no kids. I am a workaholic. I love my nieces and nephews to death, and being an aunt is one of my favorite things ever. My issue is: I don’t want to have kids.
I started dating again a few months back, and it seems like any man I go on a date with thinks he can change my mind about kids. I have personal medical reasons for not wanting to give birth. Of course, if I do meet a man who has kids, that would be perfect! I’d be a great mom.
So why is it I get called dirty names because I choose not to have kids? Everyone says I’ll change my mind once I meet the right guy, but this isn’t a negotiable issue. If we want to adopt or consider other options for kids, I am more than willing. There are children who need a home more than I need to bring one into this world just to pass on my DNA. Please help me understand what I am missing.
Signed, Blanche
From Boston, Massachusetts
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Dear Blanche,
Don’t feel obligated to explain to anyone on why you don’t want to have children. But there are ways to stop them from asking, which may include them never desiring to speak to you again. Here are some suggestions. If a woman asks you (that has children) tell her that she indirectly discouraged you not to have kids, because after she has had them, she looks awful, and you can understand why her husband or boyfriend, is constantly flirting with other women. If a man asks you, tell them you now desire to have children, and ask them if they have any male friends that are the exact opposite of what they are. If a child asks you and you’re alone with them, ask them if they knew that they are adopted, and their biological dad is a serial killer sitting on death row. And lastly, this response. Tell the person who is inquiring, that you have serious concerns about having a baby, that might have any of “their” irritating character flaws, and the amount of those that they have makes you reluctant to bring another loser into this world. I hope this helps.
Blake