Dear Blake,
My husband and I attended a party at the home of one of my co-workers. There were about 15 guests. The problem was the homeowner’s pets — two dogs that live inside. The dogs were allowed to roam freely during the party.
They barked each time a guest knocked or rang the doorbell and jumped on each person who entered. They hovered at people’s feet waiting for food to drop or to be given to them. It felt like we were expected to pet the animals and interact with them whether we wanted to or not. The homeowner made no attempt to control the dogs or keep them away from any of the guests.
I don’t dislike animals, but I don’t want other people’s pets jumping on my clothes, trying to lick me or getting close to my food. Two large wire kennels were visible along a front hallway, which I assume are used during the day while the homeowner is away at work. What would have been the polite way to ask my co-worker to put the dogs in their kennels or out in the garage while the guests were eating?
Signed, Ralph
From Louisville, Kentucky
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Dear Ralph,
I think it was inconsiderate of your friend to let the dogs run free while having guests. How to deal with these mongrels will depend on the breed. Here are some ideas. If it’s a small dog like a toy poodle, when no one is looking, gently punt them into the air onto the nearest couch. After a couple of “flights”, it’ll get the message to stay clear of your shoes. If it’s a large dog like a Great Dane, get on it’s back and try to ride it. That should encourage it to avoid you once its back starts to get sore. Or, inconspicuously put some whip cream around the canine’s lips, and scream “Mad dog!” That’ll clear out the party, and when the word gets around that your co-worker has rabid pets, they’ll keep them in a kennel next time, or risk no one showing up to the bash at all. And lastly, if it’s a pit bull, try to accidentally smear some irresistible food on the owner’s leg, that will prompt the dog to take a chunk out of their thigh. More than likely, this should cause the party host to refuse to never have a pet that is more dangerous than a hamster. I hope this helps.
Blake