Dear Blake,
My soon-to-be husband and I are moving back to our hometown in the months prior to our wedding. This is, in part, to make wedding organizing easier since we’re having it near home. We have other weddings to attend this season, and we need to reduce our living expenses while we save for a house.
Our original plan was to live with my parents for three or four months, which they have encouraged us to do. The trouble is, as the date approached, I realized that, while I love my mother, her alcoholism and the way she behaves when she drinks is difficult to be around. Actually, it’s really traumatic, if I’m being honest.
My other half and I have decided to stay with the parents of a good friend instead. They have a seven-bedroom house and are happy to host us, but I’m afraid of starting a conflict or embarrassing my parents by not living with them again. I’m not sure how to handle this without creating a rift before my wedding.
Signed, Glenn
From Louisville, Kentucky
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Dear Glenn,
It’s unfortunate that you may have deal with some hurt feelings before your wedding. But eventually you’ll have to confront that lush… that happens to be your mother. Here are some ideas. To insure that she doesn’t drink at the wedding, when she is seated, have two cops sit down on either side of her, and she notices that both of them are holding in their hands breathalyzers. Or, tell her you want to live with your friends because you want to join them into doing lines of cocaine daily. When your mother strongly objects to that, tell her you’ll stop using cocaine, if she stops boozing it up. Or this idea. Get your father to be more pro-active with your mothers issues by attacking his manhood, and starting rumors that he can’t stop her from drinking, because every time he tries, he is a victim of domestic battery that regularly causes him to go to urgent care, bloody and in tears. And finally, as a last resort, you can show your compassionate side. Tell your mother how much she means to you, and add how miserable and worried you are about her drinking problem. Somehow, talk her into going to a AA meeting, and when she final agrees, have your wedding scheduled at the exact same time. I hope this helps.
Blake