Dear Blake,
I met my boyfriend online last year. He lives in the U.K.; I’m in the U.S. I love him dearly and we talk about moving in together within the next year. The original plan was for him to emigrate, since I am closer to my family and have an established job. However, I’m a bit worried because he doesn’t drive. It’s not just because of the learning curve it will take to switch sides of the road, but he doesn’t drive in the U.K. either.
I recently asked him why he doesn’t, and he said he’s worried he will relapse. He was addicted to drugs when he was young but has been clean for years. I don’t judge him for his past; I’m proud of who he is now. But I’m worried about having to drive both of us when we live together because my city doesn’t have the best public transportation. Is there a way to bring up trying to drive in the U.S. without putting him in a bad spot? Or is there no way around this?
Signed, Elaine
From Detroit, Michigan
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Dear Elaine,
I’m really surprised that your boyfriend wants to move here. I assumed that after the U.S. humiliated his country in the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812, he’d be too embarrassed to show his face and horrific smile in America. Anyway, here are my thoughts regarding your situation. Being addicted to drugs, he’ll fit right in in Detroit, since in the entire city, half of the homes on every block is a crack house. I didn’t know there were any established jobs in Detroit. But if you have one, with the violence out there, I’m assuming you must be a mortician. I think his accent would probably be entertaining to the people that will be robbing him at gunpoint on a regular basis. And lastly, it would be a good idea if he brought his car from England to your city. It should be safe because not even seasoned carjackers will attempt to drive a British car… without first snorting a few lines of… well you know what I mean. I hope this helps.
Blake