Dear Blake,
Two good friends of mine lived together and then had a falling out. There wasn’t a big explosion, but simmering emotions eventually led one to tell the other she no longer wanted to be friends. It has been a few years, and there has been no mending of their relationship. They have a lot of mutual friends, so they know they will still sometimes see each other.
I’m about to have a party, and have invited both of them. What’s the rule of etiquette here? Should I go out of my way to inform them both that the other is coming? I don’t want to surprise them, but at the same time, I worry that telling them would be a little dramatic. They are both adults who can deal with it. Your thoughts.
Signed, Wendy
From Santa Fe, New Mexico
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Dear Wendy,
I feel bad that you sort of have been placed in the middle of their feud. But there is away to deal with their friction, while you have fun… at their expense. Here are some ideas. Contact both of them and tell them that you’re having a party and neither of them are invited. They may become so angry, that they’ll jointly throw a party and not invite you. Or, you can tell them that you have a big bet with someone on which one of them will talk the least if they come to your party. With that in mind, they both will probably show up and not speak a word to the other one, eliminating all verbal hostility. Or this idea, tell them they’re both invited, but in 30 minute shifts, and they have to leave every half an hour so they won’t ever see each other. They will find this suggestion so idiotic, that they’ll tell they’re busy on that day and can’t make it to the party. And lastly, this suggestion. Try to get them participate in a duel with handguns, where they each walk ten paces, and then turn around and fire. While this is going on, call the police and tell them two people are trying to kill each with unregistered firearms. Hopefully they’ll work out their differences as they await their trial, and with a little luck, they’ll be placed in the same cell. I hope this helps.
Blake