Dear Blake,
I’ve lived in my apartment for almost 10 years and had the same downstairs neighbor since I moved in. About three years ago, I began noticing an odor coming from her apartment. It’s hard to describe other than the worst body odor imaginable. It’s so bad that I can’t open my sliding door or windows in the summer because the smell drifts into my home. She is not the type of person I can approach about this no matter how gently I word it. I’m to the point where I feel I should file a complaint with management. It could be a hoarding situation, which could lead to health issues or pests. There are only four units in my building, and I know my other two neighbors would never complain. It would be obvious it was me, which would make for a very uncomfortable living situation. So far, no one else I know has had advice, so I am desperate for any suggestions.
Signed, Wilona
From Jackson, Mississippi
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Dear Wilona,
It’s unfortunate that you have to live above someone that appears to be devoid of cleanliness. But, thanks to me, I might be able to help you deal with her toxic overwhelming stench. Here are some ideas. Knock on her door and tell her you will be back her up when she files a complaint regarding the her toilet being perpetually backed up. When she says it never is, ask her what is that skunk-like aroma coming from her place, and maybe she’ll pick up on the hint. Or, every time she sees you and wants to talk, tell her you’ll be back in a few minutes, and return in a full HAZMAT suit. Or this idea. Contact Glade, and have them contact her, saying they were anonymously called, and was challenged, assuring the air freshening company that they have finally met their match. And if none of those work, try this. Call the police and tell them it smells like there are decaying bodies in her apartment. If there isn’t any, maybe the smell will shame her into taking her personal hygiene more serious. And if there are bodies in her residence, try to look and dress nice for all the networks and newspapers that will be interviewing you, after you located Jeffrey Dahmer’s long lost sister. I hope this helps.
Blake