Dear Blake,
My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional hold she seems to have on him. There have been several instances in which she has been disrespectful and invasive where OUR business is concerned.
When I object to my husband about it, his response is either that he’s sorry or he acts like he doesn’t understand why I find her behavior intrusive. When he talks to her on the phone, it’s as if he feels compelled to tell her OUR business, i.e. financial status, which I have told him repeatedly is none of her business, to which he agreed. Yet he recently did it again.
He acts like he’s afraid of her — like she has some type of emotional hold on him. I’m about to blow a gasket. I want to revisit the subject in a way that he will FINALLY understand my point of view and not be so eager to share everything that goes on in our home. Any thoughts?
Signed, Katherine
From Biloxi, Mississippi
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Dear Katherine,
You’re sister-in-law and your husband are both crossing a line. So if they insist on not being respectful to your privacy, give them a taste of their own medicine that, would be labeled as an overdose. Here are some ideas. Let your husband hear you talking to your brother (if you have one) about what a lousy lover he is, but fortunately you learned to stomach the nauseating intimate moments. Or, tell his sister, you’re not angry that she butts in all the time, due to the serious mental health issues she has, according to your husband. That will easily drive a wedge between the two of them, which should stop him from confiding in her. Or this suggestion. Because your spouse acts like he’s afraid of her, tell him she said she could easily knock him out with one punch, and she added that he, like most pathetic wimps, need to take some self-defense classes. And lastly, consider this idea. Go to their parents, and make up something vile/disgusting but believable, that your sister-in-law “allegedly” said about them. You may still see her on occasions, but she won’t be at any holiday seasons gatherings that her parents hosts, because hopefully the thought of her will make them barf spontaneously, prompted by your well thought out insensitive lies. I hope this helps.
Blake