Dear Blake,
I live in an area with a large number of dog owners who frequent the same walking trails I do. On several occasions, I have encountered dogs that are off-leash and running ahead of their owners. Sometimes the owner isn’t even in sight.
On several occasions, dogs have jumped up on me, almost knocking me to the ground. I’m in my late 60s, under 5 feet and weigh 105 pounds. I could easily be injured. I was once attacked and bitten.
My question is this: What’s the best thing to say to these dog owners when they finally appear? The last time it happened, the owner happily said to her dog, “I know you’re excited, but…” The rest I couldn’t hear because she had already passed me on the trail. Abby, she saw her dog jump up on me and never even acknowledged me. I don’t want to respond angrily or sarcastically, but in a friendly yet firm manner.
Signed, Linda
From Silverton, Colorado
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Dear Linda,
It is unfortunate and illegal for people to allow their dogs to roam free in public. The only reasonable thing for you to do, is make both the owner and the dog wish they have never strayed in your path. Here are some ideas. Try to walk as closely as you can to a cliff, so if you duck at the last second as the animal is about to jump on you, you’ll later get a “thank you card” from some nearby vultures. Or, keep an electronic megaphone with you. The dogs have fairly sensitive hearing. If you scream loud enough, you can damage their ears, and the older ones will likely have a heart attack. Or this idea. Spray some mace in the dog’s face, and then repeat the process on the owner when they show up. And this last idea is my favorite. Get a cougar when they are small, and have it walk the trail with you once they are full grown. If an unleashed dog approaches you, it will rip that canine to pieces. Then have the ferocious feline attack the owner. However be sure and apologize to the owner when you visit them at a nearby ICU, even if you have to interrupt a priest that’s giving them their last rites. I hope this helps.
Blake