Dear Blake,
I’m a nurse who still works full time. Most of my peers are retired. Several of them I’ve started to avoid at all costs. Each time I talk to them, all they want to talk about are their aches and pains, how sick they are and how mad they are at their kids, siblings or spouse. They aren’t just annoyed. They’re furious about any real or perceived slight.
I have thought about introducing them all to each other so they could have a group pity party. I have suggested consulting their doctors or trying psychotherapy. I’m just tired of it. I can’t stand the negativity or their hypochondria. I feel guilty, but I now dread any phone call, text or invitation to get together. Please help. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m worn out.
Signed, Ellen
From Concord, New Hampshire
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Dear Ellen,
It’s unfortunate that these former nurses are visiting their woes on you. To combat this, you must employ some tactics that will discourage them from even saying that they have a slight cold, while you’re present. Here are some of my suggestions. The next time one of them brings up their “aches and pains”, tell them you’re sure they’ll be dead soon, and you’d like to borrow a large some money from them… with a long term payment plan. Or, if they bring up their animosity toward their kids, tell them you spoke to their kids, the feeling is mutual, and they should check their vehicles for explosives before starting them. Or this option. The next time they say they are mad at their spouse, tell them they should be even angrier that he or she lowered their standards to married a bunch of whining losers in the first place. And lastly, consider this idea. Try to talk of them into getting electroconvulsive therapy, which is a medical treatment most commonly used in patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder that has not responded to other treatments. But in this case, try to get them to sit a special chair, that’s still functional in some of the older prisons. I hope this helps.
Blake