Dear Blake,
I am heavily involved in witchcraft and have been for the past couple of years. To be honest, the main reason why I chose to get involved in the occult, is so I could even with all of the men that has dumped me in the past. I could have had a beautiful future with any of them, but they wouldn’t believe me even though I showed them the proof with tarot cards. Am I being too insensitive, or do you think I should cast spells on these men to keep them perpetually miserable?
Signed Glenda,
From Salem, Massachusetts
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Dear Glenda,
There are no easy ways to deal with rejection, and the emptiness and loneliness it often creates. But I am a little surprised that you would ask for my advice, rather than seek it from the demons you undoubtedly regularly interact with. Let me see if I have this straight, a man doesn’t want you, so you want to turn him into a frog? I personally believe that there is someone out there for you, but your dating pool is dramatically reduced if you’re looking for a man that finds women influence by Satan, sexy. Considering your eternal destination, for your sake, I hope someone has created some tarot cards that are fire resistant. But I can give you some good news regarding your decision to embrace the occult. I have no idea how attractive you are, but I can promise you, in your next life, you will be “smoking hot!” I hope this helps.
Blake