Dear Blake,
I work nine hours a day in a mental health clinic talking to the clients and doing billing and collections among many other things. I love my job. The problem is that when I step outside to take a break, I want it to be my quiet time.
Most people say a quick “hi,” and that’s fine, but a man in the business downstairs from me comes out and chats every time. He calls me by the wrong name (which I have not corrected) and talks while I respond with the bare minimum to show I’m not interested. Is there a nice way to say I am not interested in his company while I am on break?
Signed, Florence
From Biloxi, Mississippi
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Dear Florence,
Your co-worker sounds like a complete and total pest. Your goal should be to get him fired, or anything that’ll get him out of your sight permanently, including organizing a lynch mob. Here are some of my suggestions. Contact HR, and inform them that you’re tired of hearing him tell you how much whiskey and cocaine he uses on the clock, when the days are slow. Or, contact the police and tell them he confessed to you that he is responsible for several unsolved brutal murders. And if by some fluke, the cops are able to build a bogus case against him, try not to snicker when you testify against him at his trial. Or this idea. Contact accounting and finance, and allege that he told you he has been stealing from the business office, with a plan so sophisticated, that they’ll never figure it out. And when they don’t find anything, they’ll assume your allegations are probably true. But, if you want the most efficient way to deal with that irritating loser, try this. Contact security and convince them that he’s a delusional patient that thinks he works there. And hopefully they’ll lock him up… but only for a few years. I hope this helps.
Blake