Dear Blake,
I went out to eat at a fancy Manhattan restaurant with some of my siblings. One of them over-ordered and ran up a huge bill. When it came time to pay, he said, “Let’s charge it to Daddy’s credit card.” Our father is well-off and probably would have been OK with it, but I objected on principle.
We ended up splitting the bill, which irritated me since my wife and I ordered much less. I can’t talk to them about it because they’ll accuse me of being cheap. What should I have done and what should I do in the future when it crops up, because it will?
Signed, Alvin
From New York City, New York
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Dear Alvin,
It’s obvious to me that your siblings are taking advantage of your father. The only reasonable thing to do, is declare war on your brothers and sisters, and use every mean necessary to destroy those greedy losers. Here are some ideas. Convince your father that whomever suggested to use his credit card, should be cut out of his inheritance, because they told you in secret they want to drive him into bankruptcy. Or, tell your father to lower the credit limit on the credit card that will only cover four meals at McDonald’s, including medium drinks. Or this idea. Inform your dad that all of your siblings have already reserved U-Hauls, so they can immediately clean out his house after he dies, or after he displays initial signs of dementia. And, this last idea. The next time you go to a restaurant with your siblings, if one of them suggests to pay for the meal with daddy’s money, covertly tell the maitre d’ that the credit is stolen, and for the police to arrive with their weapons drawn. You might want to include that your brothers and sisters practiced for weeks, on how to seriously injure a policeman, by using silverware. I hope this helps.
Blake