Dear Blake,
A relative is getting married, and the RSVP date has passed. It was announced many months ago and was to be a big, formal church wedding, with eight or nine groomsmen and bridesmaids, a flower girl and ring bearer, followed by a reception.
On the last day of the RSVP deadline, the couple sent out a postcard stating: “Change of plans! After much consideration, we have decided to have a private wedding ceremony. Meet at the reception as planned.”
I think it’s extremely rude and presumptuous to be expected to travel a great distance at a hefty expense only to find out that guests are now excluded from the actual wedding. I’m trying to make sense of this awkward situation. Any advice?
Signed, Allison
From San Bernadino, California
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Dear Allison,
There is no justification for your relative’s behavior. Definitely do not go to the wedding reception, and be sure to give them a ridiculous excuse on why you won’t attend. Here are some suggestions. Tell them that you just found out that the hotel you’re staying at has an indoor swimming pool, and you’ll try to stop by after the volleyball game. Or, tell them that you were robbed at gunpoint, and the weird thief only stole your formal attire. Or this idea. Tell them that you recently joined a religious group that forbids you to go parties that has drinking, dancing, or insensitive hosts. And this last idea should drive the point home. Tell them that you can’t come, because the incredible gift you bought them is on backorder, and you’re too upset to show up without it. In a few weeks if the inquire about their gift, tell them that you just found out that the item was discontinued, and if they have a problem with that, to take it up with Amazon. I hope this helps.
Blake