Dear Blake,
I was born in Hawaii and have never left the state. I have never touched snow before, but I know it’s basically nothing but frozen water. Thus I don’t get why so many people in North America are constantly complaining about it. When I see on tv, that people actually get stuck in it, it sounds so ridiculous to me. Stuck in frozen water? How is that possible? Or are those people just plain old dumb? My friends that have never been outside of Hawaii agree with me.
Signed, Kalani,
From Honolulu, Hawaii
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Dear Kalani,
I can understand your perspective, because you have exclusively lived in the tropics. My question to you is, how many times have you been walking down the street, and a coconut from a tree fell on top of your empty head? You can try to relate to subzero temperatures by placing an ice cube to your right ear, and then pushing it through to your left. You said your friends have the same mindset. This is unfortunate. Even though Hawaii is part of this country, I have a feeling that the reason why you’re 2500 miles from the west coast, is because the other 49 states want to distance themselves from the average intellect of the buffoon infested sauna that you call a state. But there is hope for you. Maybe one January you can travel to the east coast for a few days. And with a little luck, the time you spend there can undo some of the damage that the yearlong relentless humidity has done to your few functional brain cells. I hope this helps.
Blake