Dear Blake,
My son is almost 3. He is the light of my life. I love him more than I can describe, but sometimes me and my husband can’t handle his energy. He is like the Energizer Bunny and he wears us both out. Some days it is beyond frustrating! What should we do?
Signed, Heather
From Placentia, California
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Dear Heather,
Kids that age can often be supercharged. But there are certain things you can do to slow that irritating little runt down. For starters, give him a spoonful of Ny-Quil after every meal. This will keep that overactive midget drowsy and sluggish. You can also try putting lead weights on his ankles as many athletes used to do, and that’ll make every step a real effort. If you have a really nice stereo, this is what I would highly recommend. Buy a cd that has some Hollywood standard sound effects of monsters. Every time your sons kicks it into high gear, play the most bloodcurdling roar from a monster at full blast, that would even make an adult’s hair stand on end. Tell him that when he goes into fast forward, the monster gets angry, and as soon as night rolls around, it will slowly eat him alive, as he seasons him by putting salt in his wounds. This will probably scar him for life, but eventually he’ll grow up, move out, and probably get married. Then his wife can deal with his emotional issues instead of you, unless she divorces him due to her inability to deal with his unexplainable perpetual nervousness every day as dusk approaches. I hope this helps.
Blake