Dear Blake,
This letter is from me and my husband. We have three young boys, and have been married for 10 stormy years. We both genuinely love each, and would never get a divorce, but both of us are extremely vengeful. In the past I have gotten so mad at him, that I poisoned him, and he was in the hospital for over a week. One time, he was so angry with me that he intentionally “adjusted” the brakes on my car and it wouldn’t stop. The car was totaled and I was nearly killed. Do you think we need marriage counseling or are we simply going through a rough patch?
Signed, Norma,
From Omaha, Nebraska
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Dear Norma,
It’s good that after 10 years, you and your husband still have a common interest. Unfortunately, it’s conspiracy to commit murder. The majority of homes in America are single parent households, and it appears that it will be matter of time before you and your husband create another one, assuming a good criminal defense lawyer will get one of you acquitted. You have three boys who will probably eventually follow your examples, such as, one of your sons pushes another one down a flight of stairs due to a dispute over some Lego, and at that point you and your husband may want to review how you two interact to resolve issues. On the other hand, letting the kids observe the ruthless manner in which you two resolve your differences will show your children acceptable survival skills… providing that your family moves to a primitive barbaric tribe in South America or anywhere in Chicago. I hope this helps.
Blake