Dear Blake,
I am in love with a man that I met online, even though I have not met him in person yet. We get along great and he always makes me smile. Our plan is to get married the same day we finally meet face to face. The only problem is, he won’t get released from prison for another 17 years. He explained to me that he is currently in prison because he was wrongly convicted, and he was also wrongly convicted the other six times he was locked up. He came up with an escape plan that requires my assistance, so he can conduct his own investigation to clear his name and then we can live happily ever after. What do you think I should do?
Signed L,
From the East Coast
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Dear L,
Being in love is a powerful emotion that we’ve all felt. And if I had the power, you two would be together… in the same cell. If you actually believe he was unfairly convicted six times, then you probably also believe in the existence of the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and smart blondes. Can’t you find a man that has not been a victim of our ruthless insensitive criminal justice system that puts people behind bars for no apparent reason? I’m not sure if you’re extremely gullible or intensely stupid. Fortunately for you, the law is on your side. Because if it was illegal to be a misguided imbecile, you’d probably be serving more time than he is. I hope this helps.
Blake