Dear Blake,
My wife is not happy with her body and wants to a lot of cosmetic surgery, practically from head to toe. You name it, and she wants it done. It’s not that we can’t afford it, but I have no problem with the way she is. Do you have an opinion on this subject?
Signed, William
From Los Angeles, California
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Dear William,
I think it’s great that you appreciate your wife’s natural beauty. But unfortunately you live in a city that has the highest percentage in the nation of plastic women. These misguided dimwitted chicks that try to stand toe-to-toe with time and gravity, will eventually get knocked out! Somewhere down the road, when the foreign objects in their bodies shift, they become paranoid because they start looking humanoid. I really don’t have that big of a problem with liposuction, because those strange looking indentations are usually covered up. But I feel that a wife should not be allowed to get a face lift without the husband’s written consent. Because ten years down the road, he’ll be the one that at times after waking up in the middle of the night and being half asleep, has to avoid screaming in terror by quickly convincing himself that he’s not laying next to a gargoyle. I hope this helps.
Blake