Dear Blake,
My mother-in-law is cooking Thanksgiving, and I think she’s probably going to get a grocery-store turkey injected with weird saline and chemicals. How can I steer her towards something more sustainable/natural?
Signed, Julie
From Sparks, Nevada
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Dear Julie,
I totally get your point regarding the ingredients in food in which a person consumes. But, if you start that crap during an annual family gathering that has been created for people to bond and reflect, the proper thing for them to do is to beat your brains out! Check that ecology/environmental nonsense at the door, and be grateful that the likes of you was even invited. What are your plans for next year, bringing a food critic that’s also a scientist? If you have a problem, then don’t eat! However, there is some middle ground here. I think your mother-in-law should purchase the kind of turkey that meets your standards, and late at night when you’re walking to your car, she should hit you in the back of the head with it while it’s still frozen. The good news is, you will still be able to enjoy a nice turkey dinner on Thanksgiving, because hospitals serve special meals on that holiday, even to people in ICU. I hope this helps.
Blake