Dear Blake,
I’m 18 years old and a senior about to finish my fourth year in high school. And even though I’m a senior, I will not be graduating from school in May. I have a major issue with the standards of traditional education! I always show up for class, I never ditch school, and I also never take any books home from school. I feel if the teachers cannot teach me what I need to know during the hour that I attend each class, then the subject apparently is not that important. I daydream a lot too, and I feel that’s the school’s fault for not doing enough to sustain my attention. If I am not given a diploma at the end of this semester, I am considering filing a lawsuit. And your opinion is…
Signed, Calvin
From Las Vegas, Nevada
* * * * * * * *
Dear Calvin,
Your view on the educational system is very unique. I have no doubt that you won’t be given a diploma in a few months, but don’t feel bad, because eventually you’ll come to terms on how worthless you are. Would you want a doctor who only “showed up” for class to perform open heart surgery on you? In your case, you ought to google “open heart surgery” just in case you were taking an afternoon nap in school when the subject came up. Homework seems to be a waste of time to you, and you have apparently modified a common phrase in Sin City, which in your eyes should read, “What happens in a Las Vegas classroom, stays in a Las Vegas classroom.” But, all is not lost career wise. Hopefully you can remember something about geology when it was taught during your four years of counter productivity. One specific metal I think you should focus on is aluminum. Because it’s just a matter of time that’s what you’ll be collecting daily in a squeaky raggedy shopping cart from dumpsters and on the streets, just so you have a little cash, which will be stolen from you each night from other bums, while you’re snoozing in a lice infested homeless shelter. I hope this helps.
Blake