Dear Blake,
I am a family court judge, and nothing angers me more than deadbeat dads! I’ve taken away their driver’s licenses and also tossed them in jail. I know you aren’t a lawyer, but I hear you can have a “unique” perspective on dealing with problems. I’m all ears.
Signed, G
From Texas
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Dear G,
I totally understand your frustration regarding fathers that are not taking parenting seriously. I have several options you may want to entertain. The going rate for kidneys is around $10,000.00, so you should order the deadbeat dad to sell one of them. They can easily be removed by a skilled surgeon or any experienced grocery store butcher. Any father that refuses to pay child support and also has a life insurance policy, should be immediately placed on death row, the express version, where his attorney has 10 minutes to file an appeal with the Texas Supreme Court. Once the man is executed, and his policy pays, all of the money goes to the mother for back payments, and any excess goes to prison administrative costs, including the bullets used by the firing party. But this is the idea I like the most. Put him in jail for 10 days, feed him anything he requests, and during his incarceration, he’s not allowed to spend one second outside of his toiletless cell. And to watch him really descend into madness, on the third day put several cans of Glade that he’ll be desperate to use, outside of his cell that’s a few inches out of his reach. However to play it safe, mandate that the cans must be in at least six different fragrances, which will suggest that the worthless dad’s rights were observed since he was given several options. I hope this helps.
Blake