Dear Blake,
My 82-year-old grandmother has the habit of pulling a book from her purse in any social outing involving friends, relatives, etc., and reading. I consider her behavior the height of rudeness, ignoring everyone in her presence in favor of a book. I want to stop her from doing this but I don’t know how? Ya got any ideas?
Signed, Millie
From Kansas City, Kansas
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Dear Millie,
I have never heard of anyone doing something so odd. If it really bothers you that much, then I would encourage you to do something to break this irritating habit of that old bat. Try this, as soon as she arrives at a family gathering, start looking for opportunities to hide or break her glasses. How about switching books when she’s not looking, leaving her with one that she would be embarrassed to be seen reading public, like “How do I become a member of Isis?” or “Senior Citizen Swingers” with plenty of high resolution illustrations. But I think this idea will be the most effective. Make sure she always comes to the functions really thirsty, and warn her that if she breaks out any reading material, every drink handed to her will be laced with embalming fluid. And to show her that you are serious, hand her a business card from a local funeral home that she can use as a bookmark. I hope this helps.
Blake