Dear Blake,
I recently moved to, Death Valley, California because of a job, and the temperature here can reach 130 degrees. It is very difficult even taking a short walk outside during the summer and to keep my home cool is costing me a fortune!!! Do you have any tips?
Signed, Weldon
From Death Valley, California
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Dear Weldon,
In case you didn’t know it, you are living in one of the hottest places on earth. What exactly is your job? To monitor people that are stupid enough to move there? Anyway, here are something you can do to stay cool. When you’re walking outside, wear a hat that is packed with dry ice that has a temperature of 109 below zero. Those two temperatures should come close to cancelling each other out, along witch chunks of you skull getting frozen, with portions of it consistently falling off with every step you take. Do you believe in God and regularly go to church? If you don’t, moving there may be a good idea, considering you are sort of being prepped for your likely eternal destination. But to save money, I suggest you do this. Buy a really nice window air conditioner, along with enough extension cords that can reach at least 40 feet. And at night time, plug your air conditioner up to a backyard outlet of your neighbor’s home. This will save you a bundle regarding your electric bill. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about the petty larceny, because the chances are, your neighbor is doing the exact same thing to his neighbors… probably including you. I hope this helps.
Blake