Dear Blake,
My wife and I retired about six months ago after each one of us worked for forty years. Both of us had good jobs, great benefits, and are financially set for life. We have always had a rock solid marriage… until now. We get into a verbal brawl every day, with a lot of them getting really nasty. We go to bed mad and wake up even angrier. But we both know what the problem is, we see each other too much. Are there any other options? What can we do?
Signed, Arnold
From Annapolis, Maryland
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Dear Arnold,
Couples spending too much time together can often create problems in a relationship. In your case, you two should’ve never have gotten married in the first place, and the last forty years was a waste of time that you and your wife unfortunately can never get back. Since for four decades both of you have suppressed the fact that you two can’t stand the sight of each other, here are some possible solutions. If you have any children, invite them to move back in, so both you can collective take your frustrations out on them, because teamwork strengthens marriages. Or, stop talking to each other altogether. Sometimes, the best communication is none, but the dynamics of your marriage suggests to me that even if you did this, you two would express your feelings through vulgar hand gestures that drivers use when they experience road rage. But the easiest thing to do is what worked in the past, which is for both of you to get eight hour jobs again, and never retire. And it will just be a matter of time before one of you drops dead, giving the other an opportunity to live in peace, and to shock everyone at the funeral when the surviving member does a fist pump while delivering a eulogy. I hope this helps.
Blake