Dear Blake,
I am a nice guy, but I often get used by women that I date. I make a very good living as an architect, and when women realize my income bracket after seeing my home, they start draining me financially. Unfortunately I’m initially helpless emotionally to stop them, but eventually I come to my senses and end the relationship. I’m starting to wonder if deep down inside, I’m attracted to women that uses and mistreats me. I don’t know what to do at this point. Can you help me?
Signed, Charlie
From Santa Fe, New Mexico
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Dear Charlie,
Successful men will always attract women, that’s a fact of life. Another fact is, successful men will always attract a lot self-centered sponges wearing dresses. Here are some ideas in dealing with this problem. Before your second date, text the woman that you’re meeting, and tell her to bring all or her bills to a fancy restaurant. If she brings some, tell her you have no intention of giving her a nickle toward any of those, and she’s going to pay for her half of the meal, or she won’t eat. You might consider avoiding letting them know about your occupation at all, and to meet them only when you’re using public transportation. Tell them you currently live in a homeless shelter, and anytime you two go out, if she wants you to pay for it, then the business has to be a place that accepts food stamps as cash. But, if you don’t want to be that secretive, then the next time a woman takes advantage of you, offer to build for her a custom house. Just have it constructed in a way that a few weeks, it collapses with her in it. You may think this may make her very bitter toward you, but I have faith in human nature, and I think that after a few 2 x 4s come crashing down on her head, it will probably knock some sense into her. I hope this helps.
Blake