Dear Blake,
I graduated from college two years ago with a master’s degree in Egyptology. I have over $40,000 in student loans and I can’t find employment. I am so frustrated! Please give me some guidance!
Signed, Gordon
From Biloxi, Mississippi
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Dear Gordon,
Many college graduates all over the nation have the heavy burden of student loans. Hopefully, there are very few of them that are stupid enough to get a degree in Egyptology. What in the world were you thinking? With all of that vast (boring) knowledge you now have cluttered in your brain, you’d be lucky to get a job at an entry level at McDonald’s. At the very least, you can use that diploma as a dust pan, when you’re sweeping the restaurant floor after hours. I wouldn’t worry about the government coming after you for their money and here’s the reason. A good attorney can easily argue that anyone that genuinely believed they could make a career in this country from the education you received, is probably mentally unstable and not responsible for their actions. The best suggestion I can give you is you should move to Cairo, and hand out your résumé to strangers as you stand in the blistering desert heat while loitering in front of the Sphinx. Other than that, you’ll more than likely be indefinitely living in the basement in the home of your daddy and mummy. I hope this helps.
Blake