Dear Blake,
I am head over heels crazy in love with my new girlfriend. We connect on every level… except one. She’s a vegan and she feels it is wrong for humans to harm any living creature for any reason at any time. I love a good steak, a Big Mac, and barbecue ribs, but she gets visibly angry every time she sees me eating those things. I would like to marry her in the near future, but I see a potential problem that I don’t know how to resolve. I need some advice from you…QUICK!!!
Signed, Aaron
From Atlanta, Georgia
* * * * * * * *
Dear Aaron,
I am happy that you found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Unfortunately you fell for one of those irrational, delusional, boneheaded vegans. She has a problem with you eating ribs? Ask her why does she think God allowed humans to invent backyard grills? To give people an idea what hell would be like? Does she have a pet dog or cat? If she does, what does she feed them daily, a salad and Yogurt? Termites are living creatures. What would she do if she had a house that was infested with them? Hand each of the tiny insects a 30 day eviction notice? I will never stop eating meat and neither should you. If everyone in this country took your girlfriend’s advice, people in this nation would eventually look so scrawny and gaunt, that we would have to rename this place the “United States of Anorexia”, or something like that. I hope this helps.
Blake