Dear Blake,
Is it bad etiquette to baby talk to my dog in public? My boyfriend says it’s not proper. I disagree. Who’s right?
Signed, Joan
From Vail, Colorado
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Dear Joan,
A lot of dog owners baby talk to their pets in public. It is a form of bonding that people who have very few friends need, because they are lonely and stupid. Individuals who do this, have a long history of people walking away from them in a middle of a sentence due to being subjected to perpetual waves of boredom. Having a canine on a leash resolves this emotional problem because it can’t leave, and is forced to listen to someone like you drole on for hours, about nothing. If you really love your boyfriend and you value yours and his safety, do not talk to him when he is driving and you’re the passenger. Your apparent mundane, monotonous voice might make him drowsy, potentially causing him to be in a wreck after nodding off. On the other hand, if you want to get “rid” of him and literally make it look like it was an accident, call him when he’s driving while you’re safe at home. But please be sensitive. Don’t make the call where innocent victims can be harmed in high traffic areas. Timing is important. You live in Colorado, aren’t there a lot of cliffs in that state? I hope this helps.
Blake