Dear Blake,
My husband and I recently had our first baby. His brother and his wife are “happily” child-free and have shown zero interest in our daughter — they’ve never interacted with her, never ask about her, never respond to the few pictures my husband sends them, and have told us outright they “don’t like babies.” I don’t expect them to act like she is the center of their world, but our extended family is tiny, and we’d hoped our daughter would have a strong relationship with her aunt and uncle. We are hurt by his brother’s lack of interest, but neither of us can think of a productive way to talk with them about this. Do you have any suggestions?
Signed, Ann
From Grand Forks, North Dakota
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Dear Ann,
There could a number of reasons on why your brother-in-law and wife does not want to be around your daughter. The most likely reason is, they both are misdirecting their anger and frustration out on him being both sterile and impotent. Her hostility is probably more intense than his, because confirmation of his inability to have children has foiled her plan to get pregnant and “convince” him that the child is his. Since you can’t change their mindset, have fun with it. As soon as your child starts to walk, teach her to destroy your brother’s property. Each time you stop by their place for a visit, encourage your toddler to throw the heaviest object she can lift, into any glass objects, including windows. Toilet train her over at their place too, using a potty that you drilled in the bottom, little holes. But if you want to make an impact now, if your daughter is able to crawl, file down her baby teeth until they are like fangs. And then encourage her to crawl up to both of them, and sink her tiny teeth as deep as she can into their legs. Video tape it so you can put their hilarious screams on Youtube. And you can also send a copy of it to the police, so they can be charged with child endangerment, just in case they become too aggressive while trying to pry the innocent baby loose from their flesh. I hope this helps.
Blake