Dear Blake,
On Christmas Day, I always get a lot of gifts that I don’t want, usually from the same people. I always set them aside, and now I have a specific closet that is filled with gifts that were given to me over the years, unopened like they are sitting in a store. They are taking up too much space in my home, and every year it grows. What should I do?
Signed, Monique
From New York City, New York
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Dear Monique,
It’s good to know that some people think enough of you to buy you a present. Now all you have to do is to encourage these exact same people to use a little more brainpower, so they can give you something that you won’t construe as junk. Here some ideas to resolve this issue. Show those losers the closet where the items are stored, and tell them that you have to get rid everything in it, because you are developing a reputation of hoarding gifts from boneheaded friends and relatives that don’t know how to shop. Rewrap them and give it to those idiots for their birthdays, along with a card telling them that you plan on avoiding them every December until further notice. But, because this is the season for giving, you should probably be more charitable. So I would suggest that you take all of the gifts to a part of town where there are poor and needy people, and sell them to the homeless. The prices you request from them should be based on your travel expenses to get to the location, and how much whiskey money you’re comfortable extracting from each bum. I hope this helps.
Blake