Dear Blake,
Friends seem to be drifting away. I contact them and suggest we meet for drinks or dinner, and they usually reply with, “Oh! I’m not in town that day.” Or, “Gosh! I’ve got a ton of work that week!” Then, when I ask if I should just let them alone, they act surprised! What does all this mean? I don’t know if I should give up on them or not. What do you think?
Signed, Marie
From Westchester, Illinois
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Dear Marie,
I am sorry that you feel like your friends are avoiding you. Unless they have gotten together and compared notes, there is obviously something about you that they collectively find appalling. I know people are reluctant to look inward at their character flaws, but in your case since no one really likes you, you have no choice. Are you a boring person? Maybe people are scared to be around you, over concerns that they might nod off when you speak in irritating bland monotones, that can cause them to get drowsy, and fall down and injure themselves. Could it be your attire? Would the fashion police arrest you because you dress so badly, that you could easily get labeled as a “wardrobe terrorist”? Do you take personal hygiene serious? Or have you adopted the practice of the old west with semi-annual baths? On the other hand, it could simply be that your friends are really busy these days. And my guess is, that it probably takes a lot of time for them to set up meetings and have conference calls, discussing the best way to keep you out of their lives. I hope this helps.
Blake