Dear Blake,
I am at my wits end with my grandchildren. Every time they come over for a visit, they break something. It’s really frustrating, because when I tell my children to try to control them, they do nothing, and sometimes they even tell me that all young children are destructive and I’m making a big deal about nothing. Do you have any suggestions for me?
Signed, Mildred
from Flagstaff, Arizona
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Dear Mildred,
You have overlooked a very obvious solution. I would recommend that you get a thick leather belt, and aggressively whip your grown children, in front of your grandchildren. No matter how shocked your kids are as you thrash them, don’t stop, and try to block off all exits while they’re attempting to escape your countless lashes. Hopefully you can rebuild your relationship with them once their welts heal. After your grandchildren see what you are capable of, I doubt if you’ll have any more problems with them. However, I do think it would be fair and reasonable for you to pay 50% of the cost for the therapy your grandchildren will undoubtedly need over the next ten years, whether your children foolishly allows you to see them or not. I hope this helps.
Blake