Dear Blake,
My 15-year-old son will be entering 10th grade. He has been a member of the school band since sixth grade. After performing in last year’s Christmas parade, a group of the students went to a nursing home to perform for the residents. When we arrived, I started to get out of the car with my son so I could listen, as other parents were doing. My son seemed surprised that I was going to stay and said he would rather I didn’t because I make him nervous. Needless to say, I was devastated. Now, whenever there’s a concert, festival, parade or football game, I don’t go. When I don’t attend, I feel hurt all over again. I’m his mother. I’m at a loss as to why I make him nervous. What should I do?
Signed, Rosie
From San Francisco, California
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Dear Rosie,
I understand how hurt you must feel that you can’t watch your son perform. However, it’s entirely possible that he’s protecting you from witnessing some of the shocking things he might be doing on stage. He probably started out playing wholesome music, but now it could be heavy metal, with lyrics reflecting their adoration for the occult. It may even be “gangsta rap” condoning the objectification of women, and reminding people how important it is that you blow anyone’s head off that disrespects you. If he is a lousy musician, he might be too embarrassed for you to see angry people leaving during the performance, demanding their money back at a free concert. But assuming your son is very talented along with the rest of the band, the audio may not be the issue at all. In that case, it’s the visual. My guess is, they probably dress up like “Kiss”, Boy George, or some other well known group that will have you questioning their sanity, gender identification, or both. I hope this helps.
Blake