Dear Blake,
I have a family problem, which is, my daughters aren’t speaking. These are mature women in their 50s who have had their differences throughout their lives, but they have tolerated each other, one more than the other. Neither will attend in any gatherings if their sister is there. This needs to be resolved before years go by and our family is torn apart. We’re in our 80s, and I may never again see them together. We’re desperate for a reconciliation. They don’t have to be best friends, just be civil and tolerate a holiday together for our sake. Please advise.
Signed, Madeline
From Santa Monica, California
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Dear Madeline,
It is sad to see siblings not getting along at their age. The only fair thing for you to do is to disown both of them, never contacting them again. If that’stoo extreme, here are some other ideas. Find some common ground that would unite them… against you. Such as, have them stand next to each other, and viciously and quickly slap both of them in the same style that Moe did to Larry and Curly on “Three Stooges”. They’ll be in shock and will probably talk to each other about it later, which should create a sisterly bond. Invite both of them to a family picnic, and encourage them to square off in a MMA fight. Maybe they’ll communicate on the way to the hospital, assuming their speech won’t be impaired from their missing front teeth that will get knocked from punches or kicks. Or you can take them to a bogus fortune teller, and pay him or her to say that one of them is going to need a kidney from the other, some time in the future. But one of the simplest ways to encourage them to get along, is to tell them that through some secret investments that you and your husband made over the years, you have $10 million in cash hidden in a secret location. And unless you see outward signs that they love each other, neither one will get a penny of it. They should start getting along great from that point, because greed usually overrides animosity. Greed also overrides rational thinking, and people have killed for a lot less. I hope this helps.
Blake