Dear Blake,
I am in my second year of college, and I am outraged at my parents! They refused to let me go on spring break this year, and ordered me home during that time period. I will admit that the last spring break, I was so wasted, that I slept on a park bench for two days before I sobered up. Even with all that in mind, as a college student I feel my parents should be legally obligated to indulge me in my rite of passage. Do you back me up?
Signed, Conrad
from Tallahassee, Florida
* * * * * * * *
Dear Conrad,
I suggest that you draft a letter to your parents, expressing exactly what you conveyed to me. This will provide them with a hard copy of something they can laugh at, when they aren’t blaming each other for your conception. Are you kidding me? You really think you parents should be obligated by law to finance your drinking binges, along with whatever other creative entertainment you want to be involved in? Are you affiliated with a fraternity or are you independently stupid? You didn’t name the college you attend, so I’m assuming that either you haven’t taken any courses in “common sense” or your school doesn’t offer any. Hopefully, one of these days, the high concentration of senior citizens in your state will rise up against the ongoing reckless buffoonery of college eggheads on spring break, and starting running you guys over in their motorize wheelchairs. No matter how severe your injury, I seriously doubt if any court in Florida will convict them. I hope this helps.
Blake