Dear Blake,
I have an identical twin brother that’s constantly getting me in trouble. He’ll go to restaurants and leave without paying the bill, and give them my name. He’s even gotten me fired, after insulting my boss from a distance while dressed like me. I’m really tired of this and I want to teach him a lesson. What do you suggest?
Signed, Anderson
from New York City, New York
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Dear Anderson,
The list of things that you can do to put a stop to his nonsense are endless. Keep in mind, you can turn the tables and do the same thing to him. Robbing a bank is an option you should entertain. This can keep him out of your hair for 25 years, (30 if you use a gun). If he’s married, hand carry a dozen roses to an attractive neighbor of his, and tell the women that you’re tired of the old hag you go home to every night. However, if you want to permanently end his reign of unselfishness, you live in the right city. Try keying the car of high ranking Mafia boss, and as you run away, drop your wallet with your brother’s name and address in it. Fortunately, most funeral homes will allow you to have a memorial on your brother’s behalf, because it is highly unlikely that his body will ever be recovered. I hope this helps.
Blake