Dear Blake,
I’m a senior in high school and I recently faked a secret admirer. It’s getting me a lot of attention, but I did it because I wanted to make my crush jealous. He thinks I’m faking, and I’m pretty sure he also thinks I’m needy and selfish. Now I don’t know what to do. Can you help?
Signed, Amber
From Lincoln, Nebraska
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Dear Amber,
I totally understand you trying to get the attention of your “crush”. And just because you faked a secret admirer, he has no right to make you feel uncomfortable about your pack of lies. So if you want my help, this is what I suggest. Tell him that you did that to see if it would get him jealous, because you have heard rumors that he’s considering getting a sex change. Or you could say to him that you wanted to date him, because you lost a bet with a friend, you have to be seen with the biggest loser in town as a consequence. This idea might even appeal to you. You can inform him that you wanted to start hanging out with him, because you were curious if the vulgar insulting nickname that was given to him by other boys in his gym class, has any basis in truth. But if you really want to get his attention, give him a gift card with a limit of about $1000 that he can use at his favorite store. When he goes there to make a purchase and gets arrested because the card you “created” is bogus, you can tell him he should’ve realize you’d do something like that, because people who fake things, often commit fraud. I hope this helps.
Blake