Dear Blake,
My husband and I are seniors who look forward to visits from our adult children. The problem is our oldest son. He visits every few months and leaves belongings behind. He uses our guest room, where he has claimed much of the closet, several dresser drawers, the guest bathroom vanity and even part of our shed. He says he needs to leave things because it’s too expensive to check bags when he flies into town. We would like our guests to have space when they come to visit, and we are also trying to downsize and de-clutter. We have told him this repeatedly. We even resorted to mailing him back boxes of clothing, toiletries and other excessive amounts of his things to his home, hoping he would get the message. What should we do?
Signed, Lynn
From Austin, Texas
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Dear Lynn,
What your son is doing is disrespectful and unreasonable. The only thing I can suggest, is that you become even more disrespectful and more unreasonable. Here are some of my abrasive ideas. Every time he visits, tell him you’re remodeling the guest room, the bathroom, and shed, and all items in those rooms will be thrown away the day after he leaves. Or you can tell him that there is too much clutter in your home, so in the future, you will be storing everything he leaves behind, on a table in front of a homeless shelter. Before his next visit, inform your son that you are now renting the guest room with rates comparable to a four star hotel, and then insist that he stays, as long as he pays in cash before he walks through the front door. But this might be the best idea. Tell him that you secretly had an affair about nine months before he was born, and your husband found out, and he doesn’t want him staying there until the DNA test comes back. Also let him know that if the man that he thought was his father, is not, then he will have the option of referring to his stepdad by his first name or Mister whatever. I hope this helps.
Blake