Dear Blake,
I could use your help regarding my husband. He refuses to enter his work travel schedule on the household calendar. He snapped at me this week when he finally revealed that he was leaving Sunday. It took three more days to get the date he was coming back. It was like pulling teeth! It left me with only two days to decide how to enjoy the time alone. I suspect that he’s withholding his travel data to keep me from enjoying myself too much while he’s gone. I think it’s disrespectful to keep your wife in the dark until just a day or two before you leave. I need a way to motivate my man to share his travel dates earlier. Advice?
Signed, Clara
From Hartford, Connecticut
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Dear Clara,
I agree with you that his behavior is disrespectful and insensitive for refusing to post his schedule on the household calendar. What I would suggest that you do is to take the extreme opposite by showing him that “everything” has to be scheduled, which will force that idiot to compromise. Here are some examples. When he comes home from work later than usual, tell him dinner was served two hours earlier, and if he’s still hungry, he can attempt to get his portions out of the garbage disposal. If you’re in the bathroom doing your nails or hair and he wants to desperately relieve himself, inform that according to the schedule that you created, his toilet time doesn’t begin for another 45 minutes, and then encourage him to use the GPS on his phone to find the nearest filthy gas station bathroom or an alley. If he just wants to have a normal conversation with you, tell him you refuse to talk unless he submits to you in writing 10 days in advance the subject matter and the duration of the topic, so you can determine if it is worthy of your attention. However if you really want to rattle his cage, do this. When he comes from one of his business trips without telling you when he would return, and climbs into bed with you wanting intimacy, softly inform him that he did not put in a request, and you do not allow “walk-ins”, but you will contact him if there are any cancellations… by his friends. I hope this helps.
Blake