Dear Blake,
I supervise a man that is lazy, and his work is so sloppy he should have been fired long ago. I and many supervisors before me have tried to no avail to motivate him, but we work in government, and he knows how to game the system. Our unit’s reputation has suffered because of him and for reasons beyond my control, we are stuck working together. I supervise another person who is retiring soon, and I would like to help plan his retirement party. The freeloader I’m referring to is also nearing retirement age. When he finally leaves, am I obligated to plan a retirement party for him? He has never lifted a finger for anybody, and he sure doesn’t deserve a party honoring the fact that he sat in a chair for 30 years. Or should I not help plan either party?
Signed, Dale
From Orlando, Florida
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Dear Dale,
It is very unfortunate that you have to work with an unproductive employee. And I actually think you should plan his retirement, as a final opportunity to tell him how worthless he is. Here are some ideas on how to meet that goal. Give a speech at the gathering on his last day, letting everyone know that he won’t be replaced, because for three decades, no one knew what his job was… including him. You can refer to him in a political speech, alleging that he is just efficient as some our elected officials at investing money, and getting nothing in return. You could also ask him if is he grateful that the government has a quota of hiring a certain amount of trifling imbeciles? But if you want to keep it simple and traditional, do what most companies do when someone retires. Present to him in front of everyone, something he can hang on his wall that lists all of his contributions and accomplishments of the past 30 years, and let him figure out why the white sheet of paper that’s framed and matted is completely blank. I hope this helps.
Blake