Dear Blake,
My husband and I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary on the seventh of next month. My brother was divorced after five years of marriage and is now getting remarried by a justice of the peace. His “bride” is also divorced, and this will be a second marriage for both of them. They initially planned to be married on the third of the month but changed the date to the seventh saying they couldn’t find another date that worked. Last time I checked, there were 31 days in the month. Our parents don’t understand why I’m upset that my brother plans to marry on my wedding anniversary date. I feel this is my special day, one that I have earned after 22 years of marriage. My brother and his fiancee could easily pick another date. Am I being petty, or is my brother unreasonable?
Signed, Mildred
From Montreal, Canada
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Dear Mildred,
What your brother is doing is very selfish and insensitive. And because he is family, the only course of action for you is to do something that is even more selfish and more insensitive. So, here are some of my suggestions. To let your brother know exactly how you feel, never again celebrate your brother’s birthday with him, and tell him your reason is, because it coincides with Colonoscopy Awareness Day, or any other offensive bogus holiday you can fabricate. Or, you can celebrate your anniversary at his wedding in the back of the location with a boombox, that’s blasting some very explicit lyrics from a heavy metal band or rap artist, and explain to everyone that the music is yours and your husband’s “song”. Or how about this, you can and your husband can dress like a bride and groom, interrupt the service by walking to the front, and request that whoever is performing the marriage between your brother and his wife-to-be, to simultaneously allow you and your husband to renew your wedding vows. It will also be an interesting topic of discussion at future family gatherings, assuming your brother is still be speaking to you. But if you don’t want to crash his wedding, and you still want to celebrate your anniversary, then do this. Invite as many friends as you like to have dinner, celebrating you and your husband’s anniversary. The cost should not be an issue, because I am also suggesting for you to tell them to meet you at your brother’s wedding reception… a couple of hours before he arrives. So by the time he shows up, all of your guests will be drunk and full. Enjoy that special day, as I doubt no one else in your family will. I hope this helps.
Blake