Dear Blake,
I’m recently married to my second wife. We have a great relationship, but I feel like she has a better relationship with my two daughters than I do. They do everything together, and my daughters don’t want to do anything that includes me. Part of me is grateful they have such a great relationship, but I’m also jealous that my relationship with them is not as good as hers. Should I say something? I don’t want to ruin what they have, but I feel neglected. Am I being selfish? Should I just ignore it and get a hobby or something?
Signed, Larry
From Norfolk, Virginia
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Dear Larry,
On one hand it’s great that your daughter’s have bonded with your new wife. On the other hand, three females congregating together is often bad news for any man that they all know very well. Here is some advice in dealing with their imminent treachery toward you. The Lifetime Channel often shows how wicked women can be, so always be aware that any one of the three are capable of knocking you out and dismembering you, because “girls just wanna have fun”, even with a power saw. Regularly email the police anything that goes on in your home that you deem suspicious, and make sure it’s not a female cop who gets the info, because she will probably suppress the investigation to protect her own. If you have a life insurance policy, cancel it and make sure they know you cancelled it, because this will eliminate their possible motive of you getting “accidentally” shot when a gun “misfires”. And lastly and most importantly, do not eat any food they prepare for you, unless one of them tastes it first. But there may not be any guarantees with that, because one of them may have planned to poison the other two for some trivial reason, like using their perfume without permission. Yep, women are vicious, it’s a genetic “thang”. I hope this helps.
Blake