Dear Blake,
I find it irritating when people choose not to use headphones while talking on the phone, and instead, use the speaker option. It’s bad enough to suffer through one side of the conversation, but hearing both is worse (and these folks talk at top volume and make no attempt to step out of earshot). How should I handle these folks?
Signed, Alexander
From Miami, Florida
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Dear Alexander,
People who talk publicly on their speakerphone are beyond rude. But there are some steps you can take to make the culprit turn off their speaker phone, longing for privacy, and probably immediately leaving the area. So, when they have it loud enough where you can hear the person on the other end of the conversation, I would urge you to join in. If the person on the other end appears to be the wife of the man with the phone, you should shout out. “You’re right, the sound of her voice is ten times more grating than fingernails on a chalkboard, so I see why you can’t stand her!” Or you can shout, “Hey lady, do you plan on cooking some more of your daily swill that tastes and smells like it has been marinated in mop water?” If it’s a woman on the other end, try shouting “Are you talking to that dimwitted nag you’re married to or your hot mistress you’ve been bragging about?” But if you want to really to permanently stop them from using a speakerphone in public, try this one. If you are in a grocery store check outline, and some idiot makes a private conversation public, then you should shout, “If you continue sexting with that teenager, I’m going to call the police, and everyone in this line has agreed to testify against you at your trial!” You can also add they you’ve also seen them cruising high schools. I hope this helps.
Blake