Dear Blake,
I have a child that is going through the terrible twos, and he is at his worst when we go to grocery stores. If I don’t buy him the cookies or candy that he wants, he has a tantrum like you wouldn’t believe, and then he’ll run down the aisles destroying anything he can grab. I have been banned from entering nearby stores with him because of his past history. I’m at my wits end, and I’m open to suggestions.
Signed, Maggie
from Spokane, Washington
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Dear Maggie,
Most parents have to deal with this phase of toddlers as they begin to grow. Normally I would suggest at that age, parents should consider corporal punishment. But considering the disturbing description of your son’s behavior, an exorcist might be more effective. His animalistic behavior proves that he needs to be restrained in public, so check with the county where you reside to learn about leash laws. If all else fails, go online to a medical supply website, where you can make a purchase that will put an end to your child’s embarrassing public tantrums. Take the item that you purchased, and have a friend put it in a shopping cart, shortly before you pull up. When your son sees the skeleton of a little boy, tell him it’s legal to leave spoiled brats in the parking lot if they misbehave when they’re in a store. Hopefully you’ll adjust to the endless nightmares he’ll have with that image in his mind, followed by years of therapy. I hope this helps.
Blake