Dear Blake,
I am really interested in this woman that I just met. She is really pretty, but she is also one of meanest people I have met before in my life. What’s even worse than that, is she is heavily involved in the occult. I have no idea why I am so drawn to her, but she’s always on my mind even though she often says some really creepy things to me. What do you think?
Signed, Julian
from East St. Louis, Illinois
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Dear Julian,
I can definitely relate to feeling a spark in a relationship. You just may be feeling magic, most witches do have that power. Your attraction to her could be because you’re lonely and desperate for a relationship. On the other hand, you might have some weird fetish, like having a secret desire to be turned into a frog. I need some more information to give a really objective opinion about this woman. The next time you visit her, go through her closet to see if she has a collection of black hats and capes. If she does, leave town with no forwarding address. Or you can do this. When Halloween rolls around, I would suggest you seek some confirmation on what kind of person she really is, by putting a microphone and a GPS tracking device on the broom she has in her home. If you can determine that it was only moved within her home for normal cleaning, then you should consider working on the relationship. If while tracking it, you can confirm that it is moving outside the home a few thousand feet off the ground with the sound of her cackling, she’s probably not someone you want to introduce to your family. I hope this helps.
Blake