Dear Blake,
I am a 13-year-old who wants to be an individual. My 10-year-old brother constantly copies me and mocks me, yet he gets upset whenever I point it out. The last straw was when I went through his YouTube and found almost all of the same music I like.
My parents always say I should be flattered, or he’s just looking up to me. I am tired of it! He copies the things I say (and the way I say them), the music I like and my hobbies. It’s very, very annoying, and I guarantee that is why he continues to do it.
I’ve tried telling him to stop, but somehow, in any conversation relating to that, I end up being the bad guy. Should I just throw away my entire collection of interests, enjoyments and hobbies?
Signed, Gary
From Salem, Oregon
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Dear Gary,
There is an old saying which is “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”. In your irritating brother’s case, “imitation is the quickest way to get him flattened”. Ok, here are some ruthless ways to discourage his annoying behavior. Start taking karate lessons, and when your brother does the same, “accidentally” kick him in the mouth while you’re showing him some new moves, and try not to laugh as you pull his teeth out of you your Nikes. Or, you can pretend to be drinking a beer, but in reality you poured out the bottle and filled with a soft drink. When your brother does the same and gets intoxicated, put him in the driver’s seat of your parents car, and tell them he was planning on going over 100 mph in a school zone to impress his classmates. You can even tell him on a stormy night when there is plenty of lightning, that you plan before morning, to create a Frankenstein by using the parts of various humans. And then tell the local hospital to be ready to arrest a 10 year old boy that plans on sneaking into their morgue… carrying a hacksaw. And finally, the most dramatic way to be rid of your sibling menace, is to sneak of out of your house at night with your brother, and go to the nearest jewelry store with each of you carrying a brick. When you see a cop nearby, throw your brick through the window, and when that idiot brother does the same thing, more than likely they’ll see his criminal act and not yours. As they arrest him, pretend to be crying hysterically and inform the police that you repeatedly told him not to do it. While they are cuffing him, try to swipe some of the expensive jewelry, so you can later plant them on your parents, and then call the cops so they can also get tossed into jail, which serves them right for not preventing the pregnancy which gave birth to a mocking conniving, manipulative, uncreative loser a.k.a., your little brother. I hope this helps.
Blake