Dear Blake,
I have a friend who has a habit of giving me unsolicited gifts. It’s little things like string lights for my patio or a small toy for my daughter, but it makes me feel obligated to give her a gift back.
I would rather not be stuck in this continual gift exchange loop, especially during a pandemic when you’re not supposed to be seeing people outside your household. This friend has shown up unannounced at my doorstep to drop off a gift without letting me know she’s coming.
The last gift she offered I refused because it wasn’t age appropriate for my daughter. Was I right to do that? How can I stop this cycle without hurting my friend’s feelings?
Signed, Valerie
From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Dear Valerie,
It’s obvious that your friend cares a lot about you. But to stop them from being a thorn in your side with these perpetually irritating gifts, you must come off as an insensitive ingrate to whatever she brings you. Here are some suggestions. Tell her that if she is attempting to buy your friendship, she has to get more expensive gifts, instead of the things she’s been bringing that you regularly donate to the local homeless shelter. If she ever brings you a pie, hit her in that face with it, then ask how she feel about 1950’s slapstick comedy. Start giving her unsolicited presents that you know she won’t like, until she makes the decision to end the gift swapping. For instance, give her some clothes that’s either way too big for her or way too small, and then demand that she wears it the next time you two go out. Or get her dog from the animal shelter that has the reputation of attacking their owner without provocation. But if she feels that strongly about spending her money on you and your daughter, get her ATM and tell her you’ll buy your own gifts, and if she has direct deposit for her paycheck, clean that account out every Friday. If she allows that, then eventually you can give her a gift she’ll like… bankruptcy paperwork. I hope this helps.
Blake