Dear Blake,
My mom is mad at me. I have been a little bad, but I always do the dishes, sweep, clear the table and take out the trash. Every day when school is finished, I wait for Mom to get off work so she can help me with my homework, but when I do, she gets upset, mad and frustrated and stops talking to me. She tells me to do it myself, but I don’t know how to do some. She says I’m smart, but I don’t know if I am. Please help me because I want my mom happy.
Signed, Cindy
Custer, South Dakota
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Dear Cindy,
From what you described, your mother is not angry with you. She’s obviously mentally unstable, and I am going to give you some advice in regards to dealing with that lunatic. Consider these options. If she won’t help you with your homework, then stop doing it altogether. And if she finds out, tell her you believe that school is unnecessary, and you plan on making a living as an adult by selling controlled substances. If she doesn’t appreciate the fact that you do the dishes, do a substandard job of cleaning them, and for you not to feel guilty when your mom gets really sick from food poisoning. Or, if you know how to drive, drop her off in front of a buffalo stampede. As she sprints for her life, drive slightly in front of her as you make demands. If she doesn’t yield, tell her in detail what a herd of buffalo can do to her rib cage if she trips and falls. Just keep in mind, you can do a lot of terrible things to get her attention, but before you do that, check with an attorney to find out what the parameters are in regards to a juvenile being tried as an adult. I hope this helps.
Blake