Dear Blake,
Is it appropriate to use dental floss in public? When my mom eats out, she uses dental floss while she is still at the table or while walking out of the restaurant. She thinks she’s being discreet, but what she’s doing is obvious.
When I ask her to stop, she says she can’t stand having food in her teeth. I tell her to go into the restroom or do it outside, but she does neither and continues to floss. I’m hoping she’ll listen to you and that you will back me up.
Signed, Laura
From Evanston, Illinois
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Dear Laura,
What your mother is doing is pretty disgusting. To break her of that habit, you should start doing things while publicly dining that’s at least disgusting as your mother’s behavior, and then she’ll be willing negotiate. Here are some ideas. After your food is served, start clipping your toenails, and do it while placing your feet on table next to her plate. Or, bring a mirror and start putting on make-up, preferably gothic, including some phony fangs to the point where your face scares small children. Or how about shaving your armpits while your mother is eating, and when you’re done, blow the little hairs to her side of the dinner table. Lastly, if you know what time you’ll be meeting your mother, eat a couple of cans of beans a few hours before you show up, because by then, you should have gas, and don’t hold back while you’re there. Not only will that embarrass your mother into honoring any request you make of her, it’ll also remind the other patrons the importance of social distancing. I hope this helps.
Blake